Tag Archives: Lipsmackers

Chapstick – The Elephant in the Room

My name is Jenna and I’m a chapstick addict. Everyone say, “Hello, Jenna.” It’s a safe assumption to say that anyone that has spent at least a day with me knows that I have a serious chapstick addiction. Just thinking the word “chapstick” makes me need to apply it. I have had this addiction for as long as I can remember. The general thought is that if my lips aren’t greased to the max, I need more. When I talk, there should be absolutely no lip friction between my top and bottom lip. They must glide right off each other or… yes, more chapstick.

I have tried many chapsticks, and really I should be using a different term, as Chapstick is a brand. Lip balm is more appropriate, but I like chapstick better. In any case, I’ve tried many, including Aquafina’s new one. The idea of a water company making a chapstick is enticing. It totally screams, “You’re lips are going to be soooo moist and refreshed!” Great marketing Aquafina. However, it’s really about a 7-8 on my scale, despite its unique square no-roll-off-the-counter packaging. The tried and true chapstick, the one I keep going back to, is Burt’s Bees Original. Some don’t like the peppermint zip it gives, but I personally dig it.

My good friends are amazed by my addiction. They taunt me for having it always balled up in my fist or bulging from my pockets. I know they’re just trying to help, but the love I have for my chapstick supercedes all else. I do lose my chapsticks frequently (usually I find them in a couch or pocket), and that causes an absolute panic and violent rage. If I don’t find it within a few minutes, I’m off to the store to get another one – day or night. At $3 a pop, it’s an inexpensive addiction.

I blame Bonne Bell and her Lipsmackers for my addiction. What 9 year old in the 80’s could have resisted her Bubble Gum pink tubes of goo? It’s been all downhill since then. I pimp out my husband to get my next fix. Ok, I don’t really, but I totally would.

I have applied chapstick 4 times while writing this post.