I See You Dancing in Your Car

Excuse me, sir? Yes, you in the Nissan that you purchased for its safety rating. I see you dancing. You seem so shocked. Sir, you are not in a club. You are in your car, in the daylight, by yourself, and I can see you. So can all the other cars driving alongside you. What? You are so embarrassed you are now hiding behind your sunshade?

It’s ok, man. I got you. I feel your flow. I, too, dance in my car. In my kitchen. In the grocery store. But that’s another story. I dance in my car because frankly, I don’t give a shit if you see me.

Sir, you and I may be very different, but I assure you our car dances started the same. A simple steering wheel drumming, perhaps a few head bobs. Some fidgeting with the dashboard, a couple channel changes. OH SHIT! THAT’S MY JAM! And by the first chorus, full-on dance face, body-contorting, seat-belt restrained dancing. It doesn’t even matter if you are a good dancer on da club floor or not; in the car, we all dance the same… and it ain’t pretty.

It’s OK!!! Here’s why…

IT IS SATISFYING! And not just to those of us that upper-body bop in our sedans, but pretty much to anyone that witnesses the seizure style car-thumping.

– It puts the average onlooker in a good mood. They either think you are hilarious to watch or they just feel your vibe and wish to adopt it.

– It helps a judgmental gawker fulfill their judging quota for the day. They think you are an asshole.

– It turns a peeper that is attracted to you on. They think you are hot shit.

– It perks up a sad surveyor. They are just glad they aren’t you.

So you see, those of us that dance in the car are really performing a community service. Our air drumming, hair-swinging, iPhone selfie-taking moves are doing the world a favor. To be fair, I don’t know if this reasoning will hold up in court, if say, your dance moves cause you to careen into another vehicle. Or even put a hole in your own garage.