Googleologist

If there is anyone out there reading this that is looking to employ a professional Googleologist, I am for hire. I must Google (and yes I love that you can use it as a verb: Just Google it.) at least 20 times a day. I Google everything! I Google so much that it has become a sarcastic stab from my husband; “What? Google didn’t know the answer either?” or “Whatever, just go Google it, crazy lady.”

Kudos to Google. It’s amazing the amount of info available out there at a few keystrokes. I mean you expect to be able to find the best time of year to travel to St. Lucia, for example. What you might not expect to find, but surely will, is the small infestation of nefarious half ant, half ferret hybrids that can be found in certain regions of St. Lucia. That, of course, is not factual.

The way Google fills in words for you… The way Google suggests what you “really meant”… The way Google organizes the quality of sites as related to your search… It’s sheer magic.

Yes, Google plays a significant role in making your searches easier. And no, I’m not taking anything away from all the search engine optimization companies, webmasters, programmers, etc. But… You, as searcher, must be adept at keywords, sorting through evidence, and mastering specific word orders to get what you want quickly and with as little extraneous and/ or distracting information as possible. (We all know how one search for the Wine-of-the-Month club has you scrolling through 6 other sites, reading for hours about everything from how to crush supermarket grapes into a fine wine to local vineyards that you now must find time to tour. Before you know it, this seemingly innocent, yet insidious search has turned you into a sommelier.)

Mastering Google before it masters you is a skill. And I possess it. I can find you anything you want on the WWW. Anything. If it’s been published on the Internet, I can find it. And that makes me a professional Googleologist. I have references. Please consider this my official cover letter. My hourly wage requirements are negotiable, but after news of my talent hits Google, I will be highly sought after so get in while the getting’s good. Leave it to professionals like me; you don’t have time to do it yourself. You’re busy golfing.

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3 responses to “Googleologist

  1. I’m hurt that I got no mention here. This was my business plan for you. Then again’ you’re probably hurt that I didn’t read this until now. I was busy playing golf. πŸ™‚

  2. When I got this email, I actually thought, “Is she just reading this?” For anyone reading the comments, my sister, Stephanie Trunzo, helped devise the Googleologist concept and business plan. She is the logic behind my career venture. πŸ™‚

  3. I didnt think no one else used this word in this way. When anyone asks me any question I tell them hold on I’ll find it I’m a googleologist, cause I always google. OLOGIST can be put behind anything it means the study of, Im a cosmotologist- THE study of cosmetics,hair, etc..lol dermetologist-the study of dermis, lol etc.. Ask me anything I jus found out Martin Luther was born Micheal im 34 an didnt know

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