Chapstick – The Elephant in the Room

My name is Jenna and I’m a chapstick addict. Everyone say, “Hello, Jenna.” It’s a safe assumption to say that anyone that has spent at least a day with me knows that I have a serious chapstick addiction. Just thinking the word “chapstick” makes me need to apply it. I have had this addiction for as long as I can remember. The general thought is that if my lips aren’t greased to the max, I need more. When I talk, there should be absolutely no lip friction between my top and bottom lip. They must glide right off each other or… yes, more chapstick.

I have tried many chapsticks, and really I should be using a different term, as Chapstick is a brand. Lip balm is more appropriate, but I like chapstick better. In any case, I’ve tried many, including Aquafina’s new one. The idea of a water company making a chapstick is enticing. It totally screams, “You’re lips are going to be soooo moist and refreshed!” Great marketing Aquafina. However, it’s really about a 7-8 on my scale, despite its unique square no-roll-off-the-counter packaging. The tried and true chapstick, the one I keep going back to, is Burt’s Bees Original. Some don’t like the peppermint zip it gives, but I personally dig it.

My good friends are amazed by my addiction. They taunt me for having it always balled up in my fist or bulging from my pockets. I know they’re just trying to help, but the love I have for my chapstick supercedes all else. I do lose my chapsticks frequently (usually I find them in a couch or pocket), and that causes an absolute panic and violent rage. If I don’t find it within a few minutes, I’m off to the store to get another one – day or night. At $3 a pop, it’s an inexpensive addiction.

I blame Bonne Bell and her Lipsmackers for my addiction. What 9 year old in the 80’s could have resisted her Bubble Gum pink tubes of goo? It’s been all downhill since then. I pimp out my husband to get my next fix. Ok, I don’t really, but I totally would.

I have applied chapstick 4 times while writing this post.

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4 responses to “Chapstick – The Elephant in the Room

  1. Jenna…I share your addiction.

    In fact, I was out Saturday with J and some friends and accidentally only brought lipstick. EEEEK! I did not run out to the nearest drugstore because we were in Philly and I couldn’t have found one without inconveniencing the rest of the group (we carpooled) or risking my life (since I don’t know the city well), but when I discovered my missing chapstick on the 15 minute drive there, I was wondering how I would make it through the night. Luckily, the food was greasy and the lipstick was one of the more moist varieties.

    I have a requirement for my chapstick choices (and by the way…the term lip balm does not work for me either), which really cannot be discussed in a public forum due to embarrassment on my part! However, my two personal favorites are Blistex (the red tube…berry, but that is misleading since there isn’t much scent or “flavor”, as they say, though I do not lick mine) and Mary Kay Satin Lip Balm.

  2. This was a great read. I enjoy your spunk!

  3. Pingback: A Few of My Favorite Things « Jenna FYI

  4. i share this obsession.

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